Ok, so continuing my American story...

Part 1

Part 2

With added links on the side..I dont know why I bother but to make it easier to dig out posts that the blog was originally created for among the mess of emoness.

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So when I broke up with my boyfriend in Malaysia, it was the ultimate drama. I broke up with him basically because he was this super control freak. I mean, he's younger than me, dumber than me, probably not as hot as me, and he wants to tell me what to do. Yeah right.

Anyway, I dumped the obsessive compulsive freak of nature (I told you I attract weirdos) and he responded with a series of fucked up msn messages. They're so fucked up I almost wish that windows live messenger started earlier so I'd be able to copy and paste the conversation. He said that he started smoking and started on Dunhil Reds. Then he said that he wore black shirts everyday coz he feels like someone died. And when I pointed out that he didnt have that many black shirts, he said that he just wore the same one over and over again. Yuck. And then he said that he read the future in his tea leaves and his future is bleak. And so is mine.

Dramaticness. BLEAK FUTURE I TELL YOU!!!!

Whatever.

Leading up to this breakup, I was getting more into my classes and meeting more people. One of the big issues he had was with me taking salsa class. He watched that movie Along Came Polly that had a hot salsa scene and somehow he thought that beginners salsa would be that hot. Yah right. I think it was more about not getting my size 5 foot crushed by a black guy's size 18 foot. He was also really REALLY paranoid about one of the penis flashers who was my neighbour.

This penis flasher was the first guy I met in America. When I got to the dorms the first night, I went out to go to the bathroom. There's a full length mirror in the hall and I saw this tall, big sized white guy standing in front of it wearing nothing but a business jacket and boxers. And he was admiring himself in the mirror. When he saw me, he was so startled and I just tried not to laugh as I rushed into the toilet.

Later, he knocked on the door and introduced himself. Turns out he thought he was alone on the floor and he became my tour guide for the next few weeks. So crazy, insane, batshit ex got all paranoid and jealous and freaked out like a mother fucker so bye bye crazy batshit ex. This penis flasher is a lot easier on the eyes than the Malaysian penis flasher though. Since he has more to flash. Haha.

Btw, never ask American penis flasher if walking somewhere is possible. Because he will always say yes no matter how far it is and then grab his shoes and a map and start walking. Learnt this the hard way when he said it was perfectly possible to walk to Walmart and then took me on a 40 minute hike there.

But yeah, to be perfectly honest, I broke up with batshit ex for Sushi. And now that I think about it, that was damn dumb. I mean, I just got to America not too long ago. Sushi was my freaking neighbour. And I'm hooking up with him and diving into a serious relationship blind? That was damn dumb. And now I realise that I barely knew him at all.

It's kind of a shame that Sushi was such a big part of my American life because I really dont want to talk about him. Not because I'm so heartbroken or whatever but because he's becoming increasingly assholic as the days go by.

Well, to summarise, from the time I met him until the time I left for summer, the relationship actually went very well and we were very close. Because we lived next to each other and saw each other so frequently, the relationship progressed very quickly. It was like 2 year's worth of relationship crammed into 4 months. Not a good thing. But it wasnt all my doing. He rushed it more than I did. And he was pressuring me to rush it for some reason.

And until now I really dont know why he was rushing it so much. He's also a very needy person and he's all like I'M READY TO COMMIT. I KNOW I CAN DO THIS. OK that's all fine and dandy but what made him so sure I felt the same? And he was so convinced that he's done playing around and he wants to settle down. Please, he's 21. I dont know why America is regressing into 3rd world country behaviour of marrying early.

At first it was kinda nice meeting his family and all. I mean, I have no relatives there. It's nice to have homecooked meals and have someone's mom fuss over you and have somewhere to go for the holidays. I know this coming holidays I'm gona be stoning by myself in the apartment. And obviously his being American means he's gona have more friends than I do in the first few months that I'm there. (That soon changed though). And I also cannot survive just chilling by myself. I dont have to have BOYFRIEND. But I cannot sit by myself. So his helping me get inducted into American life was appealing.

So after he came to Malaysia to visit, I started to really SEE how he didnt fit in here. And in turn, reflected on how he didnt fit me. The thing that really irritated me was how he tried too hard to pretend like he was so comfortable here and could accept everything here. Ok maybe he wasnt pretending. But I couldnt accept that he wasnt pretending. And he kept saying things like he has no problem moving to Malaysia and stuff like that. I felt like he was belittling my dilemma about where I wana spend the rest of my life. Like he didnt get how big a deal all this studying overseas and moving to a new country really was. And so I started to get this bitter taste in my mouth about him.

This bitter taste kept getting more bitter as the days went on. I mean, he loved me more than I ever cared for me at any point so I tried to make an effort to ignore it. But little things were grating on my nerves. And then one day...

He's the kind of person who always has to act macho. He complains that when I have issues I never go to cry on his shoulder. He tries to flex his nonexistent muscles and hope that I'll admire them. He tries so hard to show off anything he can possbly show off. He tries to act all gangster like a fucking dai yi long and carry around some switchblade like thats gona do anything if someone really wants to attack you with a gun (not unlikely in the states). He's so possesive he has to like hold me wherever I go. He doesnt trust that I can go swimming without getting raped in the changing room. He tries to be the defender or the hero. Or at least pretend to be the hero.

But when there came the chance for him to really be the hero, he decided that he would be a coward. And that was a big fat breaking point.

Oh of course I said that I forgave him and I said that it didnt matter and tried to forget about it. But I didnt. He continued to try to act macho and I continued to get annoyed at him. And really everyone could see his clinginess. And if there's anything I hate, its a clingy guy.

He also always tries to act like he's freaking smart and so accomplished. But my GPA is like double his. And when he kept fucking up his studies, I got really really irritated. All this nonsense had seriously chipped away at my patience enough. I knew it was time to end it but I didnt know how and when to end it. So I went to Bitch for advice since she was all tight with him and all that crap. And she was the one advising me to end it or whatever before I left America.

Turns out she's a two faced bitch and went and  told Sushi everything bad I said about him and then he also told her everything bad I said about her. And so the relationship with Sushi ended. And now my friendship with Bitch has ended. And they're probably off fucking in some field somewhere while Bitch mentally makes plans to go dress in white tudung and pray for forgiveness or some crap like that. Go recite surah with her "little child genius niece".

And thats the story of my romantic relationships while I was in America. Penis flasher isnt counted.